Regrets,
I’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention . . .
– line from My Way, a wonderful song recorded famously by both Frank Sinatra
and Elvis Presley
When
a person is asked what they would do differently if they had his or her life to
live over, you often hear about regrets. You hear mainly about things they did
not do.
My
column a month ago addressed that thought from my personal perspective and it
provoked some interesting responses, which I would like to share with you
today.
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For a journalist, it is easy to compile a long lists about errors you made, stories
you missed, editorial stands you wished you had not taken and stories you
wished you should have written.
As
a writer who started reporting for newspapers in 1963 (54 years ago!) the
following hits home with me.
One
of Wyoming’s most respected editors is Jim Hicks of Buffalo and he wrote me the
following:
“In the area of my work as a journalist
and editor I did have one major issue I`d give a lot to have another chance at.
“During the Vietnam war the son of a
local family was killed. He had red hair and a big smile. I really liked this
kid`s dad a lot! He asked me to go the lunch after that happened.
“His dad was Bill Skiles, an authentic
Wyoming cowboy who worked as a brand inspector. He personified everything
about western culture and cowboy way of life.
“Bill said bluntly that he wanted the USA
out of there ASAP so no other family would lose their son to such a waste.
“At the time I was buying the ‘domino
theory’ and still believed the all powerful USA could do no wrong or ever lose
any kind of war.
“I sympathized with Bill Skiles, but
failed to see the important local story he had brought to my feet. I
wrote nothing about the loss he and his wife, Dorothy, were feeling. To
this day my failure haunts me.
In
Cheyenne, former Legislator Pete Illoway writes: “I would have liked to have
been a better student. I coasted a lot and should have put my nose to the
grindstone just a little bit more.
“I am not sure after college what might
have intrigued me. I look back and maybe being an attorney or looked at
engineering. I know that as I look back and know what I know now that would
have or should have been where my emphasis should have been but had little
guidance since none of my relatives went that way.”
In Sheridan, foundation director Patrick
Henderson writes: “If I had my life over: I would tell those that I love
how much I loved them every chance that I had. I especially regret
that there are close friends and family that are now gone, and that I missed
this golden moment.
“I truly regret that I missed this
opportunity and wish that I could have this moment back in which to tell
them. Part of it was life inexperience as a young person where you just
assume that you will see people again. Part of it was that it seemed clunky
and overly mushy to express that. I was so wrong. I take every
opportunity now.
“Another
thing that I would like a ‘do over’ in is forgiveness. I am more
forgiving now than I was as a younger man. I have made many mistakes
where I was given a mulligan when I didn’t deserve it. Forgive us our
trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
In Worland, attorney and author John
Davis offered these thoughts: “Now, if I had my life to live over, I’d go to
East Lansing, Michigan (Michigan State University) in September, 1964 to do
graduate work in mathematics instead of going to New Hampton, New Hampshire.
“The trip to New Hampton put me on a
pathway to living my life as a lawyer. Not that I regret being a lawyer,
but I’ve now done that, and I’d like to see how my life would have turned out
had I decided to live it as a mathematician.”
Lander’s Judy Legerski shared this
thought: “This is probably trite, but knowing what I know now and where I am
now, I would have made a much more serious attempt to remain physically
stronger – there are still difficult trails I want to follow.”
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