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Last fall, Wyoming’s present and future peacemakers learned about a new
hero for them to emulate, when a young Lander man was killed while trying to
break up a fight in Laramie.
I knew Joe McGowan his
entire life. If there ever was a nicer
young man, I have not found him. He had
no enemies. When described by his friends, his big smile and wonderful attitude
were always mentioned.
An artist and a skateboarder, he was a
student at the University of Wyoming and looking forward to a wonderful life.
Until Oct. 31, that is.
During one of those ubiquitous Halloween
parties held near college campuses everywhere, he was in the wrong place at the
wrong time.
The 5-7, 150-pound Joe tried to stop a
bully from beating up his friend. With
one blow, Joe was knocked flat to the pavement where he hit his head on the
cement curb. He died the next day.
What do you say to his wonderful parents,
Kevin and Anne McGowan and brother Patrick? No words can bring solace. Anne is
publisher of the Lander Journal and was hired by me there 20 years ago.
Kevin has worked most of his adult life at the National Outdoor Leadership
School and is an icon for the thousands of graduates of that institution.
Lander’s brand new community center had
never before seen a crowd like that which attended Joe’s funeral on a Saturday
afternoon. Over 1,000 people jammed into the facility and heard story after
story about what a great kid he was.
The parents were very brave during that
service as both spoke. Some of their comments included these by Anne:
“So, where do we go from here?
How do we move through these days
missing our Joe? How do we learn to live with this?
“From the moment Joe died, I thought if we made sure some good came out
of this maybe we could find some peace. Already, some heavy lifting has been done on that account.
“ Joe lives on in the seven recipients of his organs. Kevin, his
brother Patrick and I get enormous comfort knowing Joe has already changed
lives.
“ A fund has been set up and
will benefit the visual arts in Lander. Many really, really good things are
happening.
“But what about us?
“How do family and friends and neighbors get through the days ahead in
ways that seek and find the good?”
Anne continued: “The circumstances of Joe’s death? There`s not much good
to be found there. I’m speaking as a mom right now and specifically to Joe’s
friends. While anger is a necessary part of grieving, it can blacken your
heart. Do not feed the anger. It could lead to more anguish.
“Joe was born of eastern USA
parents, of Irish ancestry, but he was always a western boy. He was, in fact, a
Lander boy.
“He was shaped by us, his family, but also by this wild and beautiful
place and by you. By his teachers and coaches, by our neighbors, by fellow
students, by the NOLS family and by his friends’ families.
“Joe was surrounded by people who loved him at the beginning of his life
and at the end. We are forever grateful.
“In the last 15 days, this amazing community reached its arms around us
and folded us close. Your love, generosity, prayers and thoughts have comforted
us more than you will ever know.
“Imagine if each of us leaves here, carrying within our hearts a bit of
Joe`s light, Joe’s kindness, Joe’s spirit.
If
we can do that, the world will be a better place and we can all say some good
came of this.”
After Anne finished, Kevin talked about how the family dealt with Joe’s
dying at a Fort Collins hospital on Nov. 1.
“We were in a room facing the
mountains and when we decided to say our final good-bye to Joe, as the
transplant team was due, we saw the clouds lift and the sun come out.
“Later the nurses came running when we all held our hands together with
Joe’s and shouted as loud as we could, “1-2-3 Joe McGowan!”
Whew.
Lander’s new community center survived its stiffest physical test at the
end of that funeral service. When Kevin was wrapping up his comments, he asked
the crowd to join him one last time in shouting: “1-2-3 Joe McGowan!”
I swear I saw the roof lift.
Along with 1,000 hearts.
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